Looking for Focus

I went home a couple of nights ago thinking that I’ll have time to maybe list down some goals and plans for the near future - at least to figure out how to straighten out some kinks in the general muddle that is my everyday playground. It turned out I was too tired to even think a single thought that I fell asleep as soon as my back touched my bed. It’s distressing and disappointing, to not have the focus you so want to achieve. Sometimes I feel like I’m letting myself get pushed into more directions than I can handle that although I’m enjoying keeping busy and having plenty of stuff to pour some mental input into, the downside is that I’m missing out on finding the joy of nurturing and seeing something grow, be it some personal self-improvement project, or keeping a pet alive, or maybe even planting a tree or something. Although I think I’m a little too restless to have focus and concentration, I think it’s rather important and I’m striving to find that. I’m thinking about wanting to work (and possibly settle) outside the country again and after several years of pondering on that very thought, I still don’t know where to start. Well, if I have options lying beneath my feet, that would make things a whole lot easier, and finding cross country moving companies isn’t really that complicated, but when you have none you just have to look for them. If you’re heart’s really into it. For now, I think I’ll focus on making sure that mine is firmly in the right place.